The Hardships of a Fangirl
by CupcakeSprinkles14
Summary: When Katniss' favourite book series goes into production, an actor called Peeta Mellark is hired to be her favourite character. Katniss falls for Peeta, beginning a tail of one-sided adoration. "You don't understand. I would die for him and he literally doesn't even know I exist." A hopefully realistic look into fangirl life and the hardships that we face. Fangirl!Katniss
1. The Growth

_**(For the sake of this story, all of Peeta's movies are just going to be movies Josh Hutcherson has been in) :)**_

**Hardships of a Fanigrl**

**Chapter One: The Growth**

It would be a lie to say she had been there from the start. Because she hadn't.

A book was publised in 2008.

Katniss read that book in 2012.

She felt it was strange to look back on, as there had been a time when someone would have said, '_The Hunger Games_' to her and she wouldn't have batted an eyelash. In fact, she'd turned down a request to admin on a THG roleplay facebook page, because she had no idea what it was. She knew there was a movie, she had saw it on t.v, but it hadn't looked appealing to her. She didn't know why. It just . . . didn't.

Katniss first began to properly notice it when her friend Madge started reading the series. Madge's friend Becka had recommended it to her a couple of weeks prior. Katniss still didn't think much of this. She wasn't interested in the book, plain and simple. But as Madge's excitement over the plot continued to blossom and Katniss' reading material ran thin, she decided to give the book a read.

Her mom got a good deal on the books, getting all three from under ten pound on amazon, since the nearest bookstore was a good distance from where they lived. The books arrived a week later, just before Katniss' next library class in school, in a cute black box with the bird trapped in a circle printed on the side.

The only reason Katniss stopped reading the book that night was because her dad came into her room and ordered her to go to sleep because she had school in the morning. She got a good way into it, teetering on the page before part three. She desperately wanted to read more but knew she had to stop, going to sleep with the excitement of telling Madge that she had started reading the series.

Of course, she hadn't realized Madge was a slower reader than her, having not reached the same position as her by the time she got into school the next morning. Katniss accidentally ruined the death of Amandela, having blurted it out that morning when they met in form class. Madge had been annoyed but had known that it was obvious that Amandela had to die for Jennifer to live. And Jennifer had to live, because there were two other books, right?

It slowly became a competition between Madge and Katniss to see who could finish the entire series first. They went through their struggles: Katniss reached the part in the second book when Josh hit the force field around the arena and died just as the class bell in library class went, Madge losing her first book under her bed, later finding it with the front cover hanging off. It was like a battle of literature. And both of them were going through pretty intense experiences.

Katniss won, of course.

Okay, by default.

She took sick the week the both of them were flying through the final book and got a lot of reading done, finishing the book in record time. Way before Madge did. She knew it didn't count as a proper victory but Katniss liked to tease Madge with it just to gauge her reaction, which was always amusing.

After Madge finished the series, Katniss remembered the movie that had been made. She was horrified that she hadn't watched it when it came out. Then again, the movie came out in March and her mother bought her the books in May. Not even the best, most awesome movie in the history of the universe would stay in the cinemas that long. But it made her desperate to see it. But she couldn't. There was no possible way she knew of.

So she took to the internet.

Before all of this, Katniss hadn't been very into the internet. She wrote stories-that sort of thing ran in her family-and occasionally surfed facebook and played _Cafe Life_ but never stayed on the computer too long. But after reading THG series, she wanted to find out more about the film. Which wasn't too difficult, since the fansites had always been there, just hidden in plain sight.

The actors for the movie were perfect, in her eyes. The actress picked to play Jennifer had the exact same name, how much more perfect could you get?! The worst of this though was that when she first saw the actor hired to play Josh, she hadn't given him a second glance. Couldn't even bring his name to mind. The only thing she cared about was that he was playing her favourite character. At the time that was all that seemed to matter, anyway.

Katniss hadn't considered herself obsessed yet. She still thought that she was only doing some healthy research concerning her favourite book series' movie. She was able to take herself off the computer for a couple of hours a night to spend time with her family and do something more productive. Her life was still okay.

Then along came fanfiction.

The weird thing is that she hadn't discovered fanfiction looking for Hunger Games stories. She had went on looking for Doctor Who stories, a sci-fi series she had been raised on but only recently hooked with. The first story she ever read was a rated T story called 'The Underground' and it wet her apetite, made her eager to read more.

Of course she had tried to look for Hunger Games stories eventually but she had been so wrapped up in the movie that she had stupidly clicked on the 'movies' category instead of the 'books' and immediately assumed that the site just didn't do HG stories. It maybe took her another two weeks before she realized her mistake and found THG category. The multitude of stories, people's interpetations of the series and their ideas, were amazing and sometimes irritating. But Katniss fell in love with them.

And that's when it really began, _properly_.

Katniss was scrolling through a facebook page called _'Always'_ when a picture caught her eye. Her box room bedroom was shrouded in darkness, save from the glow of her computer screen, so the picture stood out even more. It was an edit of two pictures. One of the blond boy from the kids' movie _'Bridge to Terabithia'_ and another of Peeta Mellark, the actor who was playing Josh in the THG movie. The caption below said:

_"Can you believe how much he's grown?!"_

Katniss' eyes widened. _No way!_ She sat up on her bed, staring at the picture until her eyes blurred. She remembered watching Bridge to Terabithia when she was younger. It was one of those movies that you _hadn't_ lived your childhood right if you hadn't seen it. It was a necessity. A sad yet brilliant film that everyone loved, sometimes including your parents. But Katniss hadn't realized that Peeta Mellark was the kid from that film! She wasn't sure why she got so worked up about it but she wanted to burst out laughing and tell everyone in her house, even though they probably wouldn't care.

Except maybe Prim!

Katniss was almost positive that Prim had had a crush on the boy from Bridge to Terabithia when they were kids. She didn't know what it was but there was something about her sister's behaviour when they watched the movie that hinted at attraction. Excited for a reason Katniss could not understand, she went up the stairs to her sister's room, taking the steps two at a time, and knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Prim called.

Katniss came in. "Guess what!" she said excitedly.

"Is this to do with the Hunger Games?" Prim asked immediately, looking instantly uninterested.

"I barely said anything!" Katniss exclaimed.

Prim rolled her eyes. "What is it and why do you think I'd suddenly be interested?" she asked.

"You remember Bridge to Terabithia?" Katniss inquired. Prim nodded, her expression giving nothing away. Maybe she was just really good at hiding it . . . "Well, the boy playing Josh is the same actor who played that kid Jesse!"

Prim raised her eyebrows. "Right," she said slowly before properly thinking about it. "Jee, he's grown." Katniss frowned, was that all she was going to get?! Now she felt stupid for getting worked up. "I used to think he was a right ugly thing in that film. At least his looks have improved, I suppose."

Katniss stared at her sister as if she was crazy. Of course, she hadn't thought much of Jesse either when her kid-self watched the movie but that wasn't the point. At least she wasn't so blunt about it! "That's a bit harsh," she muttered.

"You're just saying that because he's in your beloved Hunger Games movie," Prim pointed out. "I bet you any money that you'd never even given him a second glance last year. Don't get at me just because I'm not a hypocrite."

"I'm not a hypocrite!"

Prim quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Name five more movies he's been in."

"Er . . ."

"I thought so."

Katniss glared at her sister and stormed out of the room. She hated the fact that Prim was right. She hated that Prim was nearly _always _right. Annoyed at herself, Katniss went back into her room and switched on her lamp. The pale light from the bulb bounced off the walls of her room, making it seem much smaller than it already was. Compared to the wide expanse that was Prim's attic room, Katniss was living in a matchbox.

A large part of Katniss longed to go home. Which was strange since the old Everdeen house was only around the corner. They had swapped houses at the end of 2011 because the house they were currently living in had three rooms. Katniss was put in the smallest box room because her parents obviously needed the bigger room and it had always been Prim's dream to have a room of her own and it was her illness that sealed the deal of the move.

Well, she wasn't _ill,_ per say. Was depression an illness? Suffice to say, Prim needed her space, since she had hated sharing a room with Katniss severely when they lived in their old house. Katniss didn't know why she had hated sharing a room so much, to her it hadn't been too bad.

The box room was suffocating. When Katniss went to sleep at night, it felt like the walls were closing in on her in the darkness. Her nightmares got worse, so bad that they almost felt real. It got to the point where she had to sleep with the lamp on, because she feared what would come out of the dark and attack her in her sleep. She didn't blame the move for the nightmares, nor did she blame Prim for being the reason of the move, but she did blame her parents, for not even asking her if _she_ wanted to leave their old home, instead just listening to their baby girl Prim and doing as she wanted without any consideration towards how Katniss might feel about it. It used to get on Katniss' nerves but she had gotten used to it. And honestly, she didn't have the energy to complain.

Katniss liked to think of the 'new' house as the diaster household. While under the roof of this house, her parents split and her mother went into a depressive state that could only be cured by her father getting back together with her. Which wasn't going to happen. It was a difficult situation. Katniss' father didn't love her mother anymore but her mother still loved him. Both Katniss and Prim wanted them both to be happy but if they got back together, their dad wouldn't be happy and if they stayed apart, their mother wouldn't be happy either. No one was going to win.

Katniss sat down on her bed and went onto Youtube. The only thing that compensated for the gap that could only be filled with the Hunger Games movie was watching interviews with the cast and promotional videos. At first, it started off as watching the ones that consisted of only Jennifer talking about the movie. Then she found herself clicking more and more of Jennifer and Peeta together. Apparently people shipped them as a couple. Katniss could clearly see it. They had an amazing, fun, jokey dynamic that was one-of-a-kind bonding.

But then Katniss clicked on a video she thought was another interview of them but turned out to be one of Peeta only. Her started beating quickly, as if her computer was going to judge her for clicking on a video of a boy on his own. She watched the screen carefully, curious as to what he was going to say.

Katniss' mouth dropped open as the video started and she realized that Peeta was actually a natural blond. Whoa, so he wasn't dark like Josh? What was _that_ about? Did the casting director take a YOLO moment and decide to give the fandom a heartattack? The hair stylist must have done their job pretty well, since she had been convinced that he was naturally dark.

Peeta was an interesting guy. Every time an interview ended, Katniss immediately clicked on another one. It got to the point where it wasn't even about the Hunger Games anymore. She was watching random interviews, for various movies, all of them consisting of Peeta and sometimes his co-stars (Katniss preferred the ones where he was on his own, she didn't take to the female co-stars as much as she did to him).

Katniss hadn't cottoned on to what she was doing until she was scrolling through the comments while a video buffered (she hated it when they did that) and spotted one that made her pause.

_Urgh, Peeta has a jawline crafted by angels._

It had nearly one hundred thumbs up. Katniss was almost tempted to click on it too. When the video finally started playing, Katniss focused on said jaw. She wasn't an expert on boys nor did she know what was attractive and what was not, but she did notice the clean cut of his jaw and came to the conclusion that the damn thing could cut glass.

What did this mean?

When she switched her laptop off, Peeta was still in her head. Katniss smacked herself as she went to bed, as if it was going to send the actor's name straight out of her head if she whacked herself hard enough. But it wasn't leaving and she knew she was out of her depth.

"It turns out that Gale and Jennifer aren't natural blonds either," Madge said the next day at school.

"Wow," Katniss said, more to the table than to Madge. "I wonder how the Tributes reacted to that."

"I don't think they were too worried," Madge replied. "The Larkers were certainly worked up about it. I bet they wet their pants."

Katniss looked at Madge, her pencil pausing it's movements across the page. "The what?" she asked incredulously.

"Larkers," Madge repeated. "It's what the Peeta Mellark fans call themselves." The sound of his name made Katniss' heart flutter but she hid it well. "Like how we're Tributes and you're a Tribute and a Whovian."

"Larkers," Katniss said slowly. At first it sounded insane but it started to actually seemed quite fitting. "So a single fan would be a . . . ?"

"Just a Larker."

"Right."

Katniss didn't pay much attention for the rest of class, relieved to be released for lunch. Because of her family's situation, she got a free lunch pass. She hated it, it was basically a large flag that screamed, "MY FAMILY HAS MONEY ISSUES! GIVE ME FREE FOOD!" Herself and Madge hated the canteen, it was too crowded and noisey, so they always ate in the History room, which could be pretty packed too if you didn't get there quick enough.

"Did you know that Peeta Mellark was in Bridge to Terabithia?" Katniss asked Madge over the table.

Madge took a bite out of her sandwich and nodded. "Yeah, I did. I thought you did too," she said.

Katniss opened her mouth to answer but was interuppted when Delly burst in. "Heeeyyy guys!" she said, dropping into the seat beside Madge. They had met Delly in second year, when they were in the same Art Class together. "What are we talking about?" She paused. "Let me guess, The Hunger Games?"

"No, actually," Madge said smugly.

"Then what?"

"Peeta Mellark."

Delly's eyebrows dipped. _"Who?"_

Katniss scowled. "It doesn't matter," she said. There was a part of her that wanted to keep the knowledge of how genuine Peeta was close to her chest, but she knew Madge was going to blurt it out.

In three, two, one . . .

"Remember Bridge to Terabithia?" Madge asked.

Delly nodded.

"He was Jesse."

Delly's face lit up. "Oh, _him_!" she said. "God, he was hot in that film. Such a shame he was so much older. That was made in, what? 2007? We were only eight then. Then again, an older man has more experience . . ." She trailed off, a dirty smirk gracing her features. Delly was infamous for her dirty mind. She liked to make Madge and Katniss uncomfortable, claiming that they were too innocent to be thirteen years old.

Katniss picked at her lettuce irritably. She had done the math late the previous night. She had been born in 1998. Peeta was born in 1992. That put exactly six years between them. The number six had suddenly felt like a larger number than it really was. Compared to the obsessive crush she had had before Peeta, six was nothing, but something about this time around told her that it wasn't the same as having a school-girl attraction to a forty odd man from Doctor Who.

"Don't forget he's from the Capitol," Madge added through a mouthful of bread. "Why would he fall for someone from 12?"

"Who said anything about falling for anyone?!" Katniss snapped.

Delly and Madge looked at her as if she were mad. "Whoa, calm down crazy chick," Delly said. "However, I would very much like to watch this 'Hunger Games' when the DVD comes out."

"Well, it comes out at the end of the week." A fact Katniss was very excited about. Madge gave her an annoyed look. A week prior, Katniss had found a pirated version of the film on Youtube and had avidly watched it in her bedroom until 11:00pm. She had tried to tell Madge that it was on but her friend refused to watch, claiming that she was going to watch it _properly_ when it came out.

"When I have you guys over next week, bring it with you," Delly instructed.

Katniss and Madge nodded like the trained puppies they were. "Okay Delly."

~xXx~

_"Because she came here with me."_

"Shut UP!" Delly yelled for thousandth time, pushing Katniss into Madge, who fell off the end of the bed with a yelp. Both of them kept quoting the movie along with the actors, which was getting on Delly's nerves to a large extent. "Madge, are you okay?!"

"Yup," Madge said. "Just gonna . . . chill down here for a bit."

Katniss decided to cover her mouth with her hand to keep herself quiet through the rest of the movie. Her heart did that strange butterfly flutter when Peeta was onscreen and she fought not to blush. She didn't even know this guy and he had a strange affect on her. She fell in love with the way he portrayed Josh and knew that no one could have done it any better. She had also found herself hating Gale's guts but she guessed it was maybe because Liam was Josh's rival love interest. Who would ship Jennifer with Liam anyway? Her and Josh were obviously perfect for each other.

As soon as the movie ended, Delly ejected the DVD and declared, "He's mine."

Madge sat up slowly with a frown. "What?" she asked.

"Peeta," Delly said. "He's mine."

Katniss scowled. "You can't say that," she said. "You can't just claim someone like that."

Delly smiled. "Watch me!"

Katniss was horrified. She didn't know why. Delly obviously didn't own Peeta, the guy didn't even know any of them even existed, but the thought of Delly believing that she held ownership over him irked her. "You can't do that!" she protested.

"I liked him first," Delly said, as if this were obvious.

"Since when? You didn't even know his name!"

Madge sat quietly while they argued, not bothering to interject. Katniss guessed it was probably because she didn't have anything to contribute. She didn't like Peeta the way Katniss did. As far as she was aware anyway.

"I liked him in Bridge to Terabithia," Delly said smugly. "When did _you_ start Katniss? When the casting list for the Hunger Games went up?"

"No," Katniss lied. She didn't want Delly to know that it was even later than that. "I started liking him in . . . Little Manhatten!"

"Bullshit Everdeen," Delly replied. "How come you've never mentioned it before?"

"Because . . ." Katniss fought for words. She didn't know why she was fighting so hard to prove Delly wrong. She just felt very frustrated at the idea of Delly ever having ownership over Peeta. An actor . . . who she didn't even know . . . Why did she care so much? Delly took her silence as answer enough and went on to babble about what she would do if she was in Jennifer's position when she was washing Josh by the river. And it didn't include any washing what-so-ever.

Katniss didn't speak again for a long time. Who was this irritated, defensive girl and were had she came from?

And the bigger question being, how much longer was she going to stay?

**A/N: I'm trying to provide a realistic insight into what life as a fangirl is really like, from personal experience and some of my friend's experiences as well.**

**As for my other Everlark fanfics, a few of them are on hiatus due to writer's block:**

**Hold On to Me;**  
**Bloodlust; **  
**Chained Hearts; and**  
**A Never ending Routine called Love.**

**Please R&amp;R with your thoughts on fangirl!Katniss ^_^**


	2. The Dastardly Descent

**A/N: I can't guarantee regular updates for this but I will write for it when I can!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.**

**Chapter Two: The Dasterdly Descent**

A war had broken out between Katniss and Delly. Of course, they were still friends, but now they were competing for the right to claim ownership over a man who didn't even know they existed. Well, Delly wanted ownership. Katniss just didn't want Delly to have ownership. She didn't know why but the thought of the girl claiming that she was the bigger fan of Peeta made her blood boil in rage. Delly just couldn't do that!

Madge stayed quiet most of the time. She didn't engage in arguments that concerned Peeta or the fake ownership over him. Whenever Delly brought it up-she was usually the one to bring it up-Madge sat back in her seat and huffed, immediately knowing what was coming. Katniss felt bad that her best friend didn't have anything to contribute but she couldn't let Delly get away with it. She just couldn't!

"Did you know he was in a production of Peter Pan when he was younger?"

Katniss stared at Delly with a squinted gaze. What was she talking about? As far as she had heard, Peeta hadn't done any productions when he was younger. But . . . what if he had? What if he had and she just missed it? She quickly nodded. "Of course I did," she said.

Delly burst out laughing. "You fucking liar! I just made that up!" she cackled. Madge rolled her eyes, completely fed up with all of this.

Katniss scowled, feeling immediately humiliated. Why did Delly have to get on like this? Why did she have to care so much? If Katniss had the ability to ignore Delly then they wouldn't have a problem at all. Because, in the end, Delly did not have ownership over anyone, no matter how much she tried to act like she did.

"Look what I've got," Delly said, moving on from her lies. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. She looked around, but no teachers were around. Katniss and Madge's class was outside the science block and that's where they currently stood. Delly always hung around with them until the very last minute, where she was forced to leave for her own classes.

"What is it?" asked Katniss.

Delly opened up her phone and went into her gallery, her screen instantly filled with pictures of Peeta. Unable to contain herself, Katniss gasped dramatically, grabbing the phone from Delly's hands and examining the photos to large extent. Delly protested and tried to get the phone back but Katniss managed to keep her back until her eyes had gotten their fill.

Oh, he was gorgeous. Katniss felt a warm tug in her gut and his smile made a smile of her own tug onto her face. Katniss touched the screen with her fingertips, wishing she could climb in and become part of his world, part of his life. Instead of being stuck in the hell she was currently enduring.

"I need my phone back!" Delly said, snatching the mobile back. Madge took it off her, abeit more gently than Katniss had, and scrolled through the pictures as well. "Pretty good pics, huh?"

"Hey, guys." The three of them turned to find Glimmer, Clove and Cashmere standing a couple of metres away, looking at them. "What's on the phone?" Glimmer asked, stepping forward and trying to get the phone off Madge. Delly scowled and elbowed the annoying blonde away, taking the mobile from Madge and quickly pocketing it.

"It was nothing," Katniss quickly said. Glimmer, Clove and Cashmere were all from her Primary School and knew a lot about her because of that. If they found out that she had a crush on someone, they would spread it everywhere, since apparently if you don't have a crush on anyone since you were a kid, once you do it's big news. And Katniss didn't want anyone to know about what she felt for Peeta except for those who already did.

"It obviously wasn't nothing," said Clove. "You gasped like Delly just showed you a dick pic."

"Was it a dick pic?" asked Cashmere. She looked at Delly seriously. "Did Darius send you a dick pic?" Darius was Delly's current boyfriend. They were so inseparable that Katniss and Madge often found themselves trailing behind the couple at lunch and break when they were supposed to be walking together as friends.

"No, it wasn't a dick pic," Delly spat. "It's none of your business what it was."

Of course, this caused the three girls to become more curious. They were just those sorts of people. When they were told that they weren't allowed to know something, it made them dig deeper. For the next six periods, Katniss and Madge were subjected to constant grilling over what it was Delly showed them on her phone. They honestly believed it would be something scandelous, like sexting messages or naked pictures that Delly and Darius had exchanged between each other.

Katniss was irritated by their nosiness but she knew that the girls couldn't know what had really been on the phone. As ridiculous as it sounded, the thought of anyone finding out that she had a crush on someone was terrifying because the people in her year were the sort of people who wouldn't leave you alone once they found out something like that. Just like they don't leave Delly alone over her relationship with Darius. They have to know everything about it so they have the latest piece of gossip to spread.

At lunch time, both Katniss and Madge had nearly reached their boiling points.

"Seriously, what was it?" Glimmer asked. Herself and her two friends were behind Katniss and Madge in the sandwich line (well, the lunch ladies called it a line, it was more like a lunch pupil mass). "Was it something bad? Because you can tell us."

"You can totally trust us," said Cashmere.

"It was nothing," Katniss said through gritted teeth. "Seriously."

"If it was nothing why can't you just tell us?" Clove taunted. "Surely something that nonesensical shouldn't matter, right? So either it _is_ something bad or private or you're just over-reacting over something small."

Maybe she _was_ over-reacting over something small, but she didn't care. Katniss forced herself to keep calm, feeling a string of obscenities push their way up her throat, and exhaled through her teeth. They wanted her to get mad, that was what they were waiting for. She couldn't give them the satisifaction. She had to find a way to keep her cool.

They reached the bar and the lunch lady smiled when she saw Katniss. Nearly every member of staff knew her mother as she worked as the cloakroom supervisor at lunchtime. Katniss didn't mind her mother working at her school but it did get annoying when people started mixing her up with either her sister or her mum and called her the wrong name.

The lunch lady handed over Katniss' sandwich, doing the same for Madge seconds later. Because Madge was Katniss' friend and they were constantly together, they learned her name pretty fast and didn't have to ask either of them what their order had been.

"Come on, just say," Cashmere pleaded. "Pleeeeaaassseeee-"

"Oh for the love of God!" Madge snapped, making the three girls-and Katniss-jump in alarm. "It was just photos of Peeta Mellark for Christ's sake! Delly was showing us because Katniss has a crush on him now will you just kindly push off?!"

Katniss was mortified. Her jaw unhinged as she quickly looked at the three girls. Their mouths hung open too, but for a completely different reason. Katniss had a sudden wish to disappear. She felt sick and wasn't at all hungry anymore. Madge quickly realized what she had done and covered her mouth in horror.

Glimmer was the first to speak. A sly grin curled onto her face. "So, Katniss," she drawled, "who's this Peeta Madge is talking about?"

"Shut up I'm not talking about it," Katniss said, shouldering past them and leaving the canteen as fast as she could. Madge followed her out.

"Oh my god Katniss, I am so sorry, I just couldn't take it anymore and I-"

"It's fine," Katniss interuppted. She ran up the steps and entered the school, taking the immediate left into Room 1. They found their usual spot and sat down. Katniss suddenly began to wish that she _had_ been over-reacting and they wouldn't make a big a deal out of it as she worried they would. Maybe she just had little faith in them as people and they would realize she didn't want this going public and would respect that wish.

The three girls followed them into Room 1, carrying their own sandwiches. They sat at a nearby table, all of them wearing shit eating smirks. Katniss' heart sank. That didn't look too good.

It wasn't good at all.

Katniss had always known that herself and Madge were two of the very few reponsible and mature people in her class but she didn't realize how far that title stretched until now. Glimmer started first, beginning a frankly juvenile game of coughing and spluttering out Peeta's name during it. It quickly caught on and the other two girls were doing it too.

Hazelle, a lunch supervisor and good friend of Katniss' mum, frowned at the girls in confusion. Katniss tried to ignore it, talking to Madge animatedly to block out the coughs of the childish gang at the next table.

When they finished eating, Katniss passed Hazelle as she dumped her rubbish in the bin. The older woman caught her arm and asked in a low voice, "Are those girls bothering you?"

Katniss shook her head and smiled tightly. "No, they're just being immature."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Hazelle nodded and let go. She smiled and gently slapped Katniss' shoulder. "You tell me if there's any bother, okay?" she said. Katniss nodded and quickly left with Madge in close tow. They managed to escape Glimmer and her group, running into Delly in the cloakroom.

"Whoa, you look like you've seen a ghost," said Delly.

"My big mouth actually landed Katniss in it," Madge winced. Katniss looked over her shoulder at her mother, who was leaning against the radiator with a frown, watching them whisper in their tight huddle. "I didn't mean it, they just kept pushing and I blurted it out."

"Damn it, Madge," Delly muttered, bitting on her finger nails. "You know what those girls are like. It's alright when it's just us but them? They probably won't shut up about this for ages." Her eyes brightened. "What if I admit that I like him too?"

Madge snorted. "No offence Dell, but you having a crush on a guy is old news. They're so interested because it's Katniss and she doesn't normally like guys in that way!"

Katniss noticed her mother coming towards them. "Guys, shut up!" she hissed, turning and smiling brightly at her mum. "Hey Mum!"

"Hi girls," Mrs Everdeen said cautiously. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh yeah, fine," said Katniss. "We're just talking about the usual stuff."

"Hunger Games?" her mum guessed.

"You got us. New Catching Fire set photos got released today." Madge mimed getting shot in the head. "Mind blower."

Mrs Everdeen smiled. "Okay, you girls have fun. Well, I need to go check the bathrooms." One of Katniss' mum's many jobs was to make sure the girls weren't applying make-up in the toilets. Despite the strict no make-up rule, most girls somehow manage to appear as ripe as an orange and don't get reprimanded for it.

When her mother was gone, Delly clenched her hands into fists. "I'll deal with those girls," she said.

"What? How?" asked Madge.

"Just leave it with me. Go outside for a walk."

Delly disappeared and Katniss and Madge did as they were told. They went outside and walked around the perimeter of the school. Despite their total faith in Delly, both of them couldn't help worrying about what she was going to do. Delly had always clashed with Glimmer and her group, neither sides having ever really gotten along.

As they walked, Katniss became aware of everyone from her year watched them. She swallowed a nervous lump in her throat and tried to ignore it, pretending to be greatly engaged in what Madge was saying about Star Wars.

They were about half way to the yard when the first cough started. It wasn't anyone from Glimmer's group. It was just a random boy from her year. But he had done the exact same thing they had done in Room 1. Coughed and spluttered Peeta's name. At first Katniss pushed on, trying to ignore it, but it kept happening. Again and again as they walked. News must travel fast because it seemed that everyone in the year now knew about her crush on Peeta. And they were going to milk it for all it was worth.

Near the yard, Katniss couldn't take it anymore. They all thought it was funny, that what she felt for Peeta was funny. And it probably was, to them. They found it hilarious but to her it was serious and it hurt that they were poking so much fun at it. Surely they had had crushes on celebrities before, why didn't they get mocked for it?

"Madge, I'm going to go back inside," she said. "I can't listen to this." She broke away from her best friend before she could answer and started making her way back to the school along the back of the English mobiles where she couldn't be seen

To make matters worse, Glimmer and her gang came out of the tuck shop-which was situated behind the English mobiles on an elevated hill-just as Katniss was walking through. The blonde dictator-like leader smirked at Katniss like a god about to smite an innocent.

"How's Peeta, Katniss?" she shouted, so that everyone in at like a twenty metre radius could hear. Clove and Cashmere burst into giggles, covering their mouths like it was scandalous to laugh.

Katniss couldn't understand why they always wanted to pick on her. What she had ever done to them to deserve being constantly taunted. And she was still going through inner termoil over what her severe crush on Peeta had done to her, she didn't need the kids at school making fun of her because of it. Fear mixed with rage in her veins and pulsated in her body, forcing it's way up her throat until it came out in a loud scream.

"Just leave me alone!"

Her outburst caused them to laugh even harder. Absolutely humiliated, Katniss turned and ran back to the school, ignoring every cough and question about Peeta as she passed. She had to find her mum and ask her if she could take her home. She couldn't deal with anymore of this today.

Inside the school, a large crowd had gathered. It was so thick Katniss couldn't even get through it to reach her mother. She tried helplessly but didn't make it in time. The bell to signal the end of lunch went and she slumped in defeat. Two more periods with Glimmer and co. How was she going to survive it?

Madge came running shortly after. Her face was red with exertion and she was panting like she had just ran a marathon. "Katniss!" she exclaimed. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Why?" Katniss frowned, confused. "I told you I was going inside because I couldn't be dealing with those assholes outside."

"You'd never guess what happened!" Madge exclaimed.

"What?" asked Katniss. They went to the cloakroom and collected their bags from the hooks in which they left them and made their way to their next class.

"Delly fronted Glimmer and they got in a fight!"

Katniss stopped in the corridor. "What?" she repeated. Her stomach bottomed out in fear. Oh god, Delly had gotten in a fight with Glimmer over this? "Is she alright? Was she hurt?"

"I think she's fine . . . They're in the prinicpal's office last I heard," Madge answered. They started walking again. Katniss felt horrible. Delly had gotten into a fight with Glimmer to defend her honour and she had been running away like a frightened child. She was handing the bullies what they wanted a silver platter, no wonder they laughed at her. What would Delly think of her if she found out?

What would Peeta think if he ever knew?

Katniss shook her head. Peeta wouldn't find out about this, that was the horrifying reality of being a peasant infactuated with royalty. Someone could get shot over him and he would never know, safe in his perfect bubble where he continued being his inpeccable self. He wouldn't think she was crazy or tease her over the fact that she liked him. He wasn't that sort of person. Even if he did think she was a little mad, he would never tell it to her face, nor would he think ill of her afterward.

One of the many reasons Katniss loved him.

And she was going to be open about it, to whoever asked. So she wasn't giving Glimmer, Clove and Cashmere what they wanted. If they had questions about the crush then they could come and ask them, anyone could.

Because she had an obsessive crush on Peeta Mellark, and she was proud of it.

**A/N: Please R&amp;R with your thoughts! :)**


	3. A Matter of Appearance

**Chapter Three: A Matter of Appearance**

Katniss stared at herself in the mirror. She did this sometimes, to examine her assets and point out her flaws. She supposed it wasn't healthy to do such a thing but she couldn't help it. Everytime she saw a mirror, she just did it. It was like a habit, or a mantra of some sort. It kind of made her a hypocrite as whenever Prim did the same thing, convinced that she was obese, Katniss would scold her harshly and tell her to stop being silly.

But then everyone is a little hypocritial sometimes, right?

The thing that irked Katniss the most was her skin. Added ontop of the unfortunate bout of teen acne that scattered her hairline and occasionally her nose, chin and cheeks, she also had a skin condition called Eczema. It poisoned her skin with dry, flaky patches and severely pink, irritated areas. Katniss loathed it, it made her look horrible. Who in their right mind would ever go for a girl covered in disgusting blemishes that couldn't even be covered up with make-up because it just made it worse? Short answer, no one.

Another thing she hated about herself was her hair. It took a lot of work to get it into her usual braid in the morning because it was so thick. Katniss could literally brush it for half an hour straight and would still find a huge knot underneath the mass of bushy hair.

Katniss turned from the mirror and continued the battle with her hair, combing it out into a decent form of straight and forcing it into the braid her mother taught her. She struggled into the frumpy green uniform and turned back to the mirror, recoiling in disgust at her reflection. The black tights and 'sensible' shoes made her legs look short and the jumper bagged around her stomach, making her look fatter than she already was.

Okay, so she wasn't severely fat. She had lost a lot of weight earlier in the year (when people asked her what her secret was she just answered with "I don't know" but the truth was she had become so focused on fanfiction that she had forgotten to snack as much as she usual did) but she did have a lot of puppy fat around her middle.

"Katniss, your dad's outside!"

"Coming!" Katniss quickly grabbed her school bag and blazer, jumping down the stairs two at a time while trying to avoid stepping on the mess that lay strewn on each step. She went to the door and stuck the key in, twisting it violently and throwing the door open. "See you later Mum!"

"See you at lunchtime!" Her mum replied.

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

Her dad always drove to the house to drop her and Prim off at school. Katniss wouldn't mind walking but they rarely got to see their dad now-a-days since he lived with his parents while he tried to find a house of his own. The drives to and from school were all they really had at the moment.

Once at school, Katniss waited outside for Madge. Madge lived in District 11 but got a bus into school every day in 12. Katniss would never understand why someone in 11 would choose to travel so far every day just to go to school but she wasn't going to complain, as she needed Madge to get through every day. At least 11 was right beside 12. Delly got a bus from 10 every day, which was even farther away.

Madge hurried through the gates with a smile on her face. "Guess what I've got!" she said.

"What?" asked Katniss, surprised by Madge's urgency. She watched her friend as she eagerly swung her backpack around to the front and yanked the zipper open. She then produced a large book which she promptly handed over to Katniss.

_**The Hunger Games Illustrated Movie Companion**_

"Oh my god, I hate you!" Katniss exclaimed, opening the book and flicking through the pages. How did Madge get her hands on this? Where were they selling? "Where did you get this?"

"I don't know, my parents bought me it," said Madge. "As an early christmas present, they said. Can you believe it?"

Katniss stroked the glossy pages in awe. Jealously began to stir in her gut and a loathing for Madge sparked inside of her. By 'illustrated' it didn't mean drawings. It meant real photographs from the set, pictures of the cast and crew with detailed descriptions on each and every aspect of the movie making process. It was basically a book version of the second disc of Katniss' two disc special edition of The Hunger Games movie.

She looked at Madge, trying to keep the hate she felt out of her gaze. "I'm defintely asking my mum for this for Christmas!" she said.

Madge grinned and took the book back. "You should, it's really cool."

They spent every chance they got that day pouring over the pages of the movie companion. Katniss wanted to bundle the book up and run away with it, maybe leaving a few dollars for Madge to buy another one on the table as she took off. Why couldn't _her_ parents have found the movie companion and think it a good idea to get her it as an early Christmas present?

Delly joined them at lunchtime, unable to last too long before making sexual innuendos at inappropriate moments. Some of them actually made Katniss snicker, which instantly horrified her. Madge didn't buy into that sort of humour and pulled a face every time Delly said something of a sexual nature. Especially where it regarded Peeta.

Weirdly enough, in the companion, there weren't many pictures of Peeta. Katniss didn't understand why as, aside from Jennifer, he was the second lead. It made her a little mad and she wished for someone she could rant to about it. Maybe she'd let off some steam with Madge later about the whole unfairity and injustice of the photo choosing process.

The photo Katniss loved the most was a close up picture of Josh outside the bakery, supposedly looking out at Jennifer underneath the tree. Katniss adored this picture as it showed Peeta's true acting ability. Because she couldn't see Peeta, all she saw was Josh. It was the same with Jennifer Lawrence's ability as well. Because you couldn't see bits and pieces of herself seeping through, all you see is the character she's playing.

Katniss held Madge's hand down to stop her from turning the page so she could stare at her favourite picture for a moment without being disturbed.

It didn't last long.

"You can see his nipples through his shirt," Delly snickered.

"Seriously?!" Katniss exclaimed. "It was probably cold out there! I'm sure if you were out there and weren't wearing a bra yours would be poking through too." Madge turned the page over, breaking any further chance of looking at the gorgeous photo. Katniss' heart sank but she didn't say anything.

"No, wait, turn back, I wasn't done," said Delly, much more vocal about her interest than Katniss could ever be. Rolling her eyes, Madge turned back, letting Delly have her filthy fill.

Just then Leevy walked by the table. The thing about Leevy was that she wasn't very likable. However she was quite burly and could knock any of the people in the year out with a single punch so everyone played nice with her. Except Delly, who wasn't afraid of anything. Leevy and Delly were never on the same terms.

Leevy stopped at the table, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Smoking meth, what do you think we're doing?" Delly fired back.

Katniss exchanged a weary look with Madge, who simply shrugged in a 'what-are-you-gonna-do?' way. They directed their eyes to the companion, trying not to get involved with Delly and Leevy's affairs. However, it didn't last long.

Leevy pushed between Delly and Katniss and planted her hands on the table. "Who is that?" she demanded, pointing at the picture of Josh in the companion. Huh, she must have been the only person in the entire year to _not_ hear the news about Katniss' crush. Even though she was but one person, Katniss couldn't help feeling a little relieved.

But for some reason, Leevy's voice had been filled with something Katniss didn't understand. She sounded almost . . . incredulous. Like Delly, Leevy had no filter and all she really thought about was boys and sex. She had been using a tone that was quite lustful. No, that wasn't right. That couldn't be right. People like Leevy couldn't admire true beauty even if it walked right up to her and smacked her across the face. Katniss' blood boiled in anger. She didn't like the thought of Leevy thinking dirty thoughts about Peeta in that way. Which was amazingly ludicris because Katniss _knew_ that she did not own Peeta or the thought of him. She just couldn't help being annoyed by it.

Thankfully, Delly came to the rescue.

"None of your business, girlie. Now move along!"

Leevy rolled her eyes but flounced away anyways.

Delly muttered an obscenity under her breath before smiling sweetly at Madge. "You can turn the page now."

~xXx~

Madge let Katniss keep the Movie Companion over the Halloween holidays. Katniss swore to guard the book with her life and take great care of it. She also dropped many obvious hints to her mother later that day about how much she'd love one of her own. With Christmas fast approaching, hopefully her mum would be able to take the hint.

"You can see his nipples through the shirt."

Katniss looked at her sister incredulously. "Are you kidding me? That's exactly what Delly said! Are guys not _allowed_ to have nipples or something?" she exclaimed.

Prim quirked an eyebrow and snickered. "Whoa, defensive much?" she asked.

Katniss didn't fully understand why they were sitting together in_ her_ room. It was so tiny that when herself and Prim sat in it together they took up at least a quarter of the available space. Why weren't they in Prim's room? It was huge!

Deciding that her sister would never be able to handle the legendary aspects of the Hunger Games, Katniss shut the Movie Companion and carefully slotted it into the keyboard compartment of her computer-less computer desk. Prim had been right though. She was getting defensive when there was no reason to be. It was just . . . everyone someone insulted the Hunger Games, if someone insulted _him_, she couldn't control how mad she got.

Later that night, Katniss found herself looking the mirror again. She hated how gawky she looked, even when not wearing her school uniform. Her eyes drifted from her reflection to an image of Peeta she had brought up on her computer screen. She started comparing herself him, trying to find the inkling of a possibility that they _could_ end up together.

_You're fourteen. He's twenty years old. Six years. Not a good sign._

_He's from the Capitol, you're in 12. Possibility of ever meeting? Negatory._

_He has dated two pretty girls in the past. Both beautiful, smart and famous. Damn it!_

_You're fat, acne ridden and diseased. He's . . . gorgeous._

_He's perfect and you're not._

Katniss stopped. What the hell was she doing? She shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her head but they wouldn't go. She couldn't stop thinking about how all the odds seemed to be stacked against them. Wait, 'them'? There was no _them._ What was she _thinking_? He didn't even know she existed, let alone referred to her as a collective noun with him as if they were a couple.

Katniss groaned, absent-mindedly scratching her arm as she sat down on her bed. She felt very frustrated as she had no idea what was happening to her. Maybe if she knew what it was she could seek help before it was too late, before she was completely infected. Although it already seemed to be too late. She was so far along that, if she wanted to, she could call herself a Larker.

A fully fledged Larker.

She was stuck in the deep end. And there was no way out.

**A/N: Big thank you to everyone who reviewed! Thank you for your continued support!**

**Please R&amp;R! :D**

**P.S: I've made a cover for this story! To see the full image visit my photobucket account (the link to it is on my profile) :D**


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